Practical Firing with a happy ending

A manager asked me to be witness to her interim review with the employee on a PIP ( i.e performance improvement plan for the un educated. Also known to some as corporate lingo for " lets fire 'em but protect our ass"). It was such a facade. The "PIP'd" knew this wouldnt work and the "Pip-per" clearly didnt want this to work. I facilitated the meeting and tried to get the so very intimidated "PIP'D" to state her point of view and the "PIP-per" to clarify expectations on what would it take to make this work. After the meeting I had a 1-0-1 with both. The PIP-er bitched about the PIP'd f..ing with us and the PIP'd resigned herself to anticipating the firing on the last day of the PIP. I told them 101 to cut the crap, accept they hated each other and make a new beginnining. I worked out with both what would be a satisfactory "goodbye" package so that we dont "kiss and tell" and each was happy. The PIP'er was relieved she wasnt going to be sued in court and the PIP'd was happy she didnt have to pretend like she was working her ass off when she really wanted to just find a new job. I was just happy I didnt have to be named witness in some useless lawsuit that would take up a lot of corporate time but more importantly my time which I really should be spending on more productive tasks... like getting to the gym !!!